Yay for Content!

First off: This relates in no way to politics. Just putting that out there. Let it never be said that this blog does not tackle the big issues of the day. Not because we particularly concern ourselves with being relevant, but more because we don't want you talking about us behind our backs. It's very rude.

Anyway. Ever since 99X died, there has basically been very little worthwhile (non-classical) music to listen to on the radio. And yes, I understand that that is not exactly a very high bar to clear that I'm using here. But one of the songs that gets played way too often is also horrible.

I'm talking here about Taylor Swift's "Love Story" song. If you have turned on a radio, I'm sure you've heard it. It's not that, musically speaking, it's particularly awful. A relatively catchy tune, she has a decent voice, all that's fine in an American pop-radio non-offensive way.

But the lyrics! Has anyone actually listened to them? Does no one read through these things before they record them? I'm pretty sure her high school literature teacher hung her head in shame upon hearing this song. Because it is awful.

Here are the lyrics to the whole thing. I'll be pulling some of the more annoying parts from them.

That you were Romeo you were throwing pebbles
And my daddy said stay away from Juliet

First off, the song uses Romeo and Juliet as an extended metaphor for perfect lovers. I'm aware this song is not the only work to do that, but I still expect better. Why do people still use this story as a metaphor for great lovers? It was a TRAGEDY people. For those of you who never got to the end of act five, let me summarize the whole thing for you. A couple of teenagers flirt for a little bit, then kill themselves in the world's earliest recorded emo moment. This is not the basis of a happy fairy tale love story here. If you daughter tells you she feels like Juliet who just met her Romeo, this is grounds for serious concern, not celebration. Does not end well.

Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone
I'll be waiting all there's left to do is run

I hear the Apothecary's is a popular hangout spot for the kids these days. He has all sorts of neat things to drink.

Cause you were Romeo I was a scarlet letter

Oh come on. Now you're not even trying. A "scarlet letter" has become general usage for a mark of shame, sure. But it comes from the specific context of being a mark of Adultery (the letter was an "A," remember?). In a relationship. The implication being that her Romeo has cheated with her, on someone else. Or something. It doesn't really make a lot of sense if you actually look at it. I don't think that's the general sort of imagery they were going for in a pop song. Unless this song is secretly awesome and about suicide and whoring in which case I apologize.

You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story baby just say yes

This is a bit more nit-picky, but, Disney versions aside lots of those old fairy tale stories are not awesome at all. The Little Mermaid dies at the end of the original version. Cinderella only has guardian spirits because her mother was murdered horribly. Snow White's mother tries to have her killed. Sleeping beauty? It was not originally a kiss that woke her up, shall we say. It was alternately the rape or the babies nursing(!) that woke her up. Yeah. Hooray for love stories?

Romeo save me, they’re trying to tell me how to feel.

These are the lyrics the internets tell me that she's singing. I do not believe it. I swear, she sings "Romeo save me, Good Charlotte tell me how to feel" which... just... no. Either that or her pronunciation is awful or really confusing. Either way.

And this song just came on my radio again. I'm just going to end this here before I think about it more and maybe through my radio out the window or something. Maybe we'll examine other awful songs some time soon. I'm looking at you, Katy Perry.