Yay for Content!

First off: This relates in no way to politics. Just putting that out there. Let it never be said that this blog does not tackle the big issues of the day. Not because we particularly concern ourselves with being relevant, but more because we don't want you talking about us behind our backs. It's very rude.

Anyway. Ever since 99X died, there has basically been very little worthwhile (non-classical) music to listen to on the radio. And yes, I understand that that is not exactly a very high bar to clear that I'm using here. But one of the songs that gets played way too often is also horrible.

I'm talking here about Taylor Swift's "Love Story" song. If you have turned on a radio, I'm sure you've heard it. It's not that, musically speaking, it's particularly awful. A relatively catchy tune, she has a decent voice, all that's fine in an American pop-radio non-offensive way.

But the lyrics! Has anyone actually listened to them? Does no one read through these things before they record them? I'm pretty sure her high school literature teacher hung her head in shame upon hearing this song. Because it is awful.

Here are the lyrics to the whole thing. I'll be pulling some of the more annoying parts from them.

That you were Romeo you were throwing pebbles
And my daddy said stay away from Juliet

First off, the song uses Romeo and Juliet as an extended metaphor for perfect lovers. I'm aware this song is not the only work to do that, but I still expect better. Why do people still use this story as a metaphor for great lovers? It was a TRAGEDY people. For those of you who never got to the end of act five, let me summarize the whole thing for you. A couple of teenagers flirt for a little bit, then kill themselves in the world's earliest recorded emo moment. This is not the basis of a happy fairy tale love story here. If you daughter tells you she feels like Juliet who just met her Romeo, this is grounds for serious concern, not celebration. Does not end well.

Romeo take me somewhere we can be alone
I'll be waiting all there's left to do is run

I hear the Apothecary's is a popular hangout spot for the kids these days. He has all sorts of neat things to drink.

Cause you were Romeo I was a scarlet letter

Oh come on. Now you're not even trying. A "scarlet letter" has become general usage for a mark of shame, sure. But it comes from the specific context of being a mark of Adultery (the letter was an "A," remember?). In a relationship. The implication being that her Romeo has cheated with her, on someone else. Or something. It doesn't really make a lot of sense if you actually look at it. I don't think that's the general sort of imagery they were going for in a pop song. Unless this song is secretly awesome and about suicide and whoring in which case I apologize.

You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story baby just say yes

This is a bit more nit-picky, but, Disney versions aside lots of those old fairy tale stories are not awesome at all. The Little Mermaid dies at the end of the original version. Cinderella only has guardian spirits because her mother was murdered horribly. Snow White's mother tries to have her killed. Sleeping beauty? It was not originally a kiss that woke her up, shall we say. It was alternately the rape or the babies nursing(!) that woke her up. Yeah. Hooray for love stories?

Romeo save me, they’re trying to tell me how to feel.

These are the lyrics the internets tell me that she's singing. I do not believe it. I swear, she sings "Romeo save me, Good Charlotte tell me how to feel" which... just... no. Either that or her pronunciation is awful or really confusing. Either way.

And this song just came on my radio again. I'm just going to end this here before I think about it more and maybe through my radio out the window or something. Maybe we'll examine other awful songs some time soon. I'm looking at you, Katy Perry.

Remember those compensation limits?

Everybody remembers how the executives at major banks and investment houses were going to be limited in their compensation, right? So they couldn't take home big buckets of money for tanking a company, and then leave with the golden parachute to cash in on their way out? Failing upwards, so to speak. Remember how that was a major part of the bill?

Well, it still is. Kind of. In what amounts to a final middle-finger from the Bush administration (well, OK, with the current pace of things, "final" remains to be seen), those rules only apply to companies that receive bail-out funds by selling assets to the government by auction. This was originally the system the Treasury Department said they planned to use to distribute the money, and why the provision was written that way. Of course, now that the law has been passed, the Treasury Department isn't using that system, and has said there are no plans to use it in the future. So all those limits don't actually apply to any real companies. Handy, that.

Here's the Washington Post story on it.

IOKIYA ... D

In general, political attack ads bother me because I consider the lack of context almost always employed by them to be lying by omission. But this is politics and unfortunately that is a useful strategy for appealing to the low information voter which is admittedly the larger percentage of the population. You learn to live with it and devote a little time to disabusing friends and family of the FUD if necessary. Of course, you don't dispel the FUD surrounding the other guy. You leave that task for that bastard's supporters.

However this election cycle an attack ad so incredibly ballsy in its omission has been running in Georgia since the closing month of the general election and lives on to piss me off in the run-off election. Worse yet, in a mind-wrenching manner of political dissonance, it was paid for by the DSCC.

I am referring to the attack ad 'Saxby Economics' where the DSCC slams Saxby Chambliss for voting yea on H.R. 1424, better known as the Wall Street Bailout. It was a hotly contested bill and I would venture the guess that a majority of Georgians were against it (I was for the bill, a commercial paper stand-still is a serious problem) which is why the DSCC and Martin are blatantly trying to capitalize on the fear and outrage surrounding what was a necessary evil. It really bothered me back then but that's politics.

Since the general election results, the stakes have been raised and this commercial was given a revision. The DSCC, and by complacent extension Martin, air the same ad with an added bit: immediately after slamming Saxby for voting yea for the bailout, they show a picture of Obama, the narrator praises his economic prowess, and says Georgia needs someone (Martin) who will help Obama's agendas in the Senate. Of course, the blatantly ballsy omission that Obama also voted yea for the bailout is nearly enough to make my head explode every time this attack disgraces my television.

So to sum up, attacking one guy for his stance on a bill and then immediately praising and vowing to help another guy who voted the same way: It's OK If You're A Democrat. Mark this down, people; it's not likely to happen again any time soon.

O Font of Wisdom, Spew On Me

From the people who brought you this bit of mathematical geniusitude,



as a depiction of the Laffer Curve (math majors: please don't kill yourselves), we now get some more economizing and fiscalitude from the Wall Street Journal. Today, financial geniuses at the WSJ have seen fit to explain to us plebes what caused the current credit crisis and exploding economy (not to mention amazing alliteration).
Here you go, read the whole thing. It's cool, I'll wait.

Dum de dum, doot doot dee doo. .....Back? Yeah, don't worry if these words are exciting and new for a few minutes. That's just the language center of your brain consciously forgetting the English language to protect itself from further harm.

People wonder, What happened? One man's theory: A nation whose people can't say "Merry Christmas" is a nation capable of ruining its own economy.

Other, less stupid people wonder if a nation dumb enough to have a major financial newspaper that prints an article like this should be surprised when it's economy explodes.

One had better explain that.

Oh, do tell.

The path to 50% wealth reductions and the death of Wall Street was paved with good intentions,

...if you think Ayn Rand was a font of moral wisdom...

notably the notion that all should own a house, even if that required giving away the house to untutored borrowers with low-to-no-interest loans.

Because as we all know, the only people with the power to wreck our economy are poor people, with their innovative "lack of money" approach to controlling the world's money supplies. Nevermind the fact that Community Reinvestment Act loans are defaulting at a lower rate than traditional mortgages. That would get in the way of blaming poor people for simultaneously having no money and taking all of our money.

"Little or nothing that has occurred through this crisis discredits the system of free-market capitalism."

Minus, of course, the complete economic implosion caused by unfettered and unregulated capitalism at the highest economic levels. Beyond that, though, little or nothing, like the man says. But Merry Christmas! Yay, now our economy is saved!

"In this instance, the system has been badly used -- by mere people."

Yes. Mere people. Those salt of the earth, everyday, working class, multi-million- and billionaire investment bankers. No one could have seen this coming, no one could have predicted, etc. & etc.

"It has been my view that the steady secularizing and insistent effort at dereligioning America has been dangerous. That danger flashed red in the fall into subprime personal behavior by borrowers and bankers, who after all are just people."

And, statistically, overwhelmingly these "just people" are going to be Christians, not atheists. I don't recommend holding your breath while waiting for the author to reconcile these facts, nor while waiting for him to explain how a holiday greeting will reverse whatever imaginary trend he's going on about.

Northerners and atheists who vilify Southern evangelicals are throwing out nurturers of useful virtue with the bathwater of obnoxious political opinions.

The point for a healthy society of commerce and politics is not that religion saves, but that it keeps most of the players inside the chalk lines.

So true. It's not as if, for example, Mortgage Fraud was most likely to occur in the Southeast and Midwest, bastions of American Christianity. Oh, wait, it's exactly like that. But saying Merry Christmas will totally fix that. Somehow. Merry Christmas!

So, which is scarier: The War on Christmas exploding our economy, or that people take the Wall Street Journal seriously?

Stay Classy, Washington

Noted without comment.

I want my new TV!

You know, something occurs to me. I'm pretty sure I was promised riots if Obama lost the election. I was looking forward to a cloud with a silver lining, at least, since I had been practicing my looting skills and all.

"But wait!" you say. "Obama WON the election!" Yes, fictional interlocuter, but I'm pretty sure I was also promised riots if he won. I'm certainly not going to link to themfor those of you who happen to look here, the website was a VDARE website, to be found by googling the term violence in victory<-->, but I definitely recall reading as much around some of the scary parts of the right-wing section of the internets. Something about a history of violence in victory.

Well, here, allow me to take you to ground zero of some of those disturbing riots we found ourselves experiencing on election night. Right in the heart of Fake America, that dastardly bastion of liberality and America-Hating, New York City:


I know, right? I can hardly bear to watch such blatant displays of anti-American sentiment either.

Meanwhile, we have seen the Right, long noted for being morally superior to us Fake Americans in every way possible, respond in their typically upstanding manner:
Cross burned on lawn of Obama supporters in NJ

Grewal described his community as a nice place "with many wonderful people." But he said his daughter is afraid to sleep in her room, knowing someone was on the lawn while they were home.

Hmm. You know, I think this relates to something we've been hearing about over the past few years. I'm pretty sure it's something bad, what with the whole "terrifying" thing. Terro.... terroris...... meh, I'm sure it'll come to me.

Seriously, Screw Alaska.

So all the votes are not yet counted in the Alaskan senate race with approximately 40,000 absentee and provisional votes waiting to be sorted. I'm confident that by the end, Begich will be declared winner. But why the hell is it even necessary to look at those to determine who is victorious? I'm all for counting every vote on principle, but when one of the choices is a recently convicted felon seven times over for not reporting what were essentially bribes, the race should have been such a landslide as to be called for his opponent shortly after the polls closed. Yet at the end of the night, Stevens was up a few thousand votes. WTF were those Alaskans thinking when they voted for Stevens?

There might be some Technicality Republicans who rationalized a vote for Stevens via the fact he has not yet been sentenced and thus, technically, not yet a convicted felon. Though somehow I doubt many people settled any cognitive dissonance this way. Maybe there were some who just did not know Stevens had been found guilty on seven felony charges a mere week before the election. Alaska might be rural, but the majority of the Alaska population is not out in the wilderness without a radio or television.

I suspect the reason Stevens got as many votes as he did is because, well, Alaska is full of crazies who simply don't have any qualms with being represented by a felon as long as it is a Republican. I can understand if they don't want to vote Democrat but no one is forced to only two choices. They could have easily written in the name of any Republican they trusted to represent them or simply abstained from voting for that office. Yet a large number of voters still cast their ballot for Stevens.

Say it with me now: Convicted Felon? It's OK If You're A Republican!

A bit of musing of what might happen if Stevens still wins after all the votes are counted. He'll either step down or get booted leaving an empty seat to be filled by special election. I'm curious if Palin will put her name on the ballot. Think about her likely major competitors in the Republican primary for 2012: Jindal, Romney, Huckabee. They're all governors like her. They're all far right social conservatives with religious ideology on their agendas like her. This could be the thing to set her apart: the only one (edit for correction: Jindal spent a little time in the House before becoming governor) with both executive and congressional experience. It probably won't happen given that Begich will be elected, but it would be interesting to see if she's thinking along these lines. Then again, maybe I'm giving her too much intellectual credit like my fellow contributor suggests.

FANTASTIC

Having received an amazing 0 replies for our inaugural event, I will consider this one of the finest successes in the history of our incredible blog. In fact, little better could be hoped for. This way, assuming we convince just 1 person to participate next year, we can claim an increase in participation of Infinity Percent. I'm sure you'll all be looking forward to it!

1000 Word Freestyle Rant

First Schadenfreude/Spleen Venting Day Event: the 1000 Word Freestyle Rant!

Post all entries in the comments to this post, or email them to me if that doesn't work. The rules are as follows: Using *EXACTLY* 1000 words, make up the best rant on any topic of your choosing relating to elections or the campaigns or something thereabouts. No, I don't even care what side you're posting on; entries will be rated on style, creative profanity, and stringing together outrages, not on how much we agree. Failing to meet the word limit will incur heavy penalties (that's part of the challenge)! This contest closes at midnight tonight, and the prize will be handed out tomorrow.

National Schadenfreude Day

Dear god, it's finally over. Greetings, everyone, and welcome to National Schadenfreude Day! "Schadenfreude" being that wonderful german word (shut up, this is a nation of immigrants, right?) that means, roughly, "joy in the misery of others." One way or the other, after all. In the spirit of bipartisanship and national unity, let us first commence this day with the hereafter-traditional Venting of the Spleen. I see such status messages as "Doom!" and "RIP Democracy: 1776-2008" so let's go ahead and use this moment to get down, on paper, all the horrible things we can expect under the coming administration. Feel free to leave your predictions of national socialism, sharia law, mandatory gay marriage, or what have you in the comments here and I'll put up the criteria for the various celebratory essay contests (for which I promise I have *actual prizes!*) in a little bit.